Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Portal-ized Object Names

Because there weren't enough silly names for random normal objects in Portal:

Aperture Science Photostatic Image Replication System (photocopier): "The unauthorized application of exposed gluteal regions to this device shall be grounds for immediate termination... of your employment with Aperture Laboratories."

Aperture Science Visio-Social Display (overhead projector): "The hygienic operation of this device is required under Section Nine, paragraph 4(b) of the Enrichment Center Principles of Operation. Appropriate sanitary facilities are scheduled for installation at this site in ..." *BZZTZcrackle* "... sday."

Aperture Science Remote Signaling Unit (telephone): "Use of the Aperture Science Remote Signaling Unit has been discontinued until further notice. Should you inadvertently find yourself operating this device, please report at your earliest convenience to the nearest Enrichment Center Decontamination and Retroviral Decommissioning Pod for absolution."

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