Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Love, Federation-Style

Originally Posted by Mandachuva:
Hey, talking of non-violent diplomacy, didn't Picard drop a torpedo on [the Devidian's] cave? :)
Of course. In the world of Star Trek, this is known as "foreplay."

The pattern is so consistent as to approach canonicity. The first time representatives of the United Federation of Planets meet a new species, we fight them. Then we use our diabolical skills of diplomacy on them. Then we tease them by making them think we want to mate with them.

Don't believe me?

  1. MEET: marauding Romulans in TOS: "Balance of Terror"
  2. DEBATE: Scotty refuses to fly the surrounded Enterprise to Romulus in TOS: "The Enterprise Incident"
  3. MATE: Spock and the Romulan Commander get it on in TOS: "The Enterprise Incident"

  1. MEET: Riker vs. whip-wielding Ferengi in TNG: "The Last Outpost"
  2. DEBATE: a Ferengi shows Picard his "son" in TNG: "Bloodlines"
  3. MATE: giving a Ferengi "oo-mox" in (to mention just one example) TNG: "Q-Less"

  1. MEET: Voyager vs. Species 8472 in VOY: "Scorpion"
  2. DEBATE: communicating with the fugitive Species 8472 lifeform in VOY: "Prey"
  3. MATE: Chakotay bumps uglies with the Species 8472 lifeform portraying "Commander Archer" in VOY: "In the Flesh"
At this point the hapless aliens, desperate for our affections, are ready to sign any kind of diplomatic, trade, or security agreements we put in front of them. And as a token of our esteem, we give them root beer.

Since we (the Federation) have already dropped the bomb on the Devidians, we're now ready for the "debate" stage in our relationship with these aliens.

And then....


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